IceMan

 

Today is your birthday

Kick your heels up and whoop

Pup’s baking a cake

And picking up all the doggie poop

Today you can rest and relax

You won’t have to mow grass

You can have some cold coronas

And sit on your ass

And maybe just maybe

Pup will give you a special treat

It will be warm and cuddly

Where you can hear her heartbeat

So here’s to your birthday Ice

I give you all my best wishes

For love and happiness

And wet puppy dog kisses!

 

Cheers my man- have a happy one!

 

Love,

Polarb & lovie

 

 

 

Friday Fun Facts…

 

1.   I love to have music blaring and jamming on the stereo when I am cleaning house.

 

2.   I sneeze a lot when I am cleaning house…must be allergic to it, huh? No actually I am terribly allergic to dust, dust mites and chemical smells. It makes me sneeze a lot, but you gotta do what you gotta do!

 

3.   I love going to the movies, however we end up missing a lot of the good ones because Lovie and I don’t go that often.

 

4.   I have been doing a better job at catching up on my sleep. I find as I get older that I need at least 8-9 hours at least 3 to 4 times a week. Other nights I am lucky if I get 4 to 5 hours sleep.

 

5.   We have a resident tree frog that lives in the watering can on our screened in porch. He stays in there all summer every year. He tends to jump out the spout when we fill the can up with water, then he goes back in there once we are done using it.

 

 

 

Wow this has been such a week of revelations…. I am such a firm believer that what you put out to the universe will come back to you… Karma has a way of coming back and giving you a big ole bite on the ass. I have found proof of that particularly this week. Not that I didn’t already know that, but as I said this has been a week of revelations.

I will give you a bit of background. I previously was part of a management team that I was absolutely miserable on. It had nothing to do with the workload or the associates. It was because my peers and direct managers were not the type of people I would typically associate myself with. First of all I did not chose to be on this team of people, however when I was forced to become part of it, I made a decision to be as successful as I could be and to put my best foot forward. I was promoted to the management team within a short period of time because of my previous experience in management and my knowledge in the areas of functionality required for the position. I quickly learned that my peers on the management team were completely different in the fact of how they treated others and in their integrity level. This made it very difficult to work side by side them everyday and after a while, I found myself dreading dragging myself out of bed every morning to go to work because I just knew that my day was going to be a struggle and rarely was it going to be a good day. All the office politics and goings on also made it increasingly hard to stay dedicated and focused on what I was there to do; which was run a team of associates who were good at their jobs and successful in providing the type of customer service we all like to experience. I was very different from the others in the fact that I actually cared about my associates and I wanted them to succeed. I think as a manager you are only as successful as your associates are. If you are doing your job correctly and giving your associates the feedback they need to improve in areas of opportunity and giving them the training they need to achieve and reach their goals, as well as giving them the positive feedback and incentives to make them want to strive to be the best they can be…then you can truly say you are successful as a manager. Anyway I wont go into all of that but my reasoning for saying that is that did not fit in to the management teams viewpoint. Their management style was to weed out anyone who wasn’t up to their par whether it be because they did not like them personally or they didn’t like what color they wore that day or etc… It was a daily nitpicking session and my manager frequently wanted to write up associates almost on a weekly basis for any little infraction they could pick apart about the person. When it became evident to me that this was completely against the grain of my management style, I started speaking up and sticking up for my associates. I was told I was too soft and was a pussy that let my associates walk all over me. I not only was standing up for my associates but had to stand up for myself as well all while keeping a happy face on in front of my associates so they would not pick up on all the behind the scenes stuff. I started out in the beginning by going to lunch with them and being friendly and try to sort of somewhat fit in while keeping my own values in tact and thought maybe if I tried it from a different perspective that maybe I could be a positive influence on them and they would see that being positive was much better than all the negativity. Lunches too often became a free for all bitch session of what terrible associates we had. The name-calling and comments were horrid and they sickened me. They called associates freaks and bitches and pigs and anytime I tried to turn the comments around and defend anyone, they turned on me and started directing their poison towards me. I started declining offers to go to lunch and that actually pissed off my manager and she told me I was not being a team player. I was told I was ostracizing myself from the leadership team and she frowned upon that. It finally got to the point that I told her I simply did not want to be around all the negativity and that I would prefer it if we just kept a professional relationship in the office strictly. Well let me tell you… that really pissed her off. The tables were then turned and she became like Jeckle and Hyde and was frequently taking myself and another coworker on the same team behind doors and berating us for not writing up associates and jumping right on situations that she said needed to be addressed. Truth is, that I was addressing the issues and I did write up associates for mostly attendance issues and even sexual harassment in two cases. I fired associates if it was justified and we had already worked with them to resolve the issues, however if that failed then by all means I had no problem letting them go. The thing is that with my style, I will always do that with dignity and respect for the other person. I don’t feel you have to be degrading to anyone… it’s not the way I do business. Most times the associates who were let go, expected it because I had already been working with them on the issues and giving them the feedback and follow up, and given them every opportunity to change the behavior or situation. The fact was that my manager wanted me to appear to be the bad guy to the associates, so she forced my hand in many additional write ups for infractions that had little basis. She ineffectively was standing to the side where her name was not on any of the documents and mine was… I went on vacation once and found out that a couple of my associates had been written up while I was gone for whatever reason and she had put my name all over it even though I was not there at the time. Those types of things started escalating and I withdrew myself further from them, and then she started finding fault with everything I did… I had the feeling she would start trying to weed me out and I was correct. As a department, we were losing people left and right and more were threatening to quit because of her actions. She would take associates in conference rooms and let fire and brimstone rain down on them with her wrath. Finally one day she took me into a room and started in on me, her eyes like daggers with hatred and spewing her venom to me about something or other. I sat there and didn’t say a word and simply smiled at her. She became extremely angry and no matter what she did she could not provoke a reaction out of me except for me to continue to smile at her. I had had enough and I knew that our company did not stand for this type of behavior and I made a decision that I was not going to put up with it anymore. I walked out of that meeting knowing exactly what I was going to do. I contacted someone in our associate relations department and I set up a meeting. I had already been writing and documenting dates and comments and things that happened. If I knew anything it was that documentation is important. So I went to my meeting and I let the cat out of the bag and I have to tell you they were shocked at most of what I told them. I told them, you don’t have to take my word for it, go talk to the associates, they will tell you what they have experienced for themselves. I did not tell any of the associates or warn them that they may be questioned. I was a bit concerned that they would become afraid and not open up because they did not trust that if they said something that there would not be retaliation. But a group of associates, I think 5 in all were called into a private meeting for questioning of what they had seen or experienced. Thankfully they all opened up and it was a big relief to them that someone was finally asking question and they let it all pour out. The next morning, my manager was escorted out. See that was an excellent lesson in karma because everything she put out came back to her in the end and ultimately sealed her fate. There was a big hubbub surrounding the situation and when the dust settled the entire team had to go to boot camp for a week which was classes and management training because she was not the only one who was guilty of these types of actions. My peer tried to confront me saying I had lied about her in some of the things that she said. I looked her directly in the eye and told her she did say them because she said them specifically to me and I documented it and I refreshed her memory of when it occurred. She hem-haled around saying well if she did say it she did not remember it and she was not the type of person who would say stuff like that. Uhhh yeah right… different story when you don’t have a crowd around you encouraging that type of behavior. Anyway she was fighting to keep her head above water and was backpedaling really fast in an effort to save her job. I bet you can imagine what happened next… The tables were turned and she started saying all these things that she was made to do things because she feared backlash too and blah blah blah…Too little too late and beside the trust was already way beyond damaged when I was the target of their gang mentality. The manager above my previous manager feigned ignorance of any knowledge as to any of the goings on in an effort to clean his hands of it… Although he played a small part in the commentary at times about the associates too. I knew I had no trust at all in the remaining players, however I continued though to stay in my position and to try to restore trust with the associates and to build up what had been damaged. We were getting back on track and it was a big breath of relief to many when the change occurred. Unfortunately in the process we lost some really good people who had already decided to move on and we practically gained a whole new team of associates who had no knowledge or history of what had occurred. Sometimes that is good, but it can be difficult to rebuild a whole new team from the ground up. The most thing I knew in my heart was that I had served a purpose there and that my reason for being there was to speak for the people and to learn to stand up for myself and know that I have a lot of strength within me and I can stand firm in my values and in my integrity. That was a major lesson for me and let me tell you it was a struggle to make it through it, but I did just as I have in many other things. Almost soon after I knew that my purpose had been served, a door opened for me for another opportunity arose and I stepped through the door and took it. I am no longer in that position and have taken on a new job in a completely different area, which gives me great pleasure and satisfaction. It is a world of difference, like night and day…or heaven and hell… I feel valued and appreciated and am part of a great team that works well together like a team should. Anyway, the lessons keep coming and I keep learning…. and it is ingrained within me and in my spirit.

As I said this has been a week of revelations…. while I was still in that old position, I frequently did background police checks on temporary associates before I hired them because temps did not have to go through the same processes that a regular associate did. The temp agencies did not do thorough checks and many times I discovered that they had a record a mile long and I chose not to hire them.. . No sense in asking for problems right? Anyway, in doing this I thought it would be fun to check up on people I knew who I worked with… Imagine my surprise when I discovered that my manager who I reported to had a felony against him for identity theft that had recently occurred. Talk about integrity issues. WOW! Anyway, life went on and I did not say anything to him about my discovery however I really was very leery and knew I could not trust him for anything… Well here’s another instance of that karma coming back…. he was escorted out on Monday and it has been hush hush for the reasoning behind it. I wasn’t sure it they had just caught up with the fact of his criminal record or what so I did my own little fact finding mission… I always wanted to be a private investigator and I am good at uncovering facts. Here’s what I uncovered. He was attending a church and finagled his way into balancing the church’s checkbooks… well… money started coming up missing and they confronted him which he denied and now he has switched churches saying he prefers a bigger congregation. He has told people that he lives in an affluent neighborhood in a huge mansion – reality is he lives in a small ranch style house that is valued way lower than the pompous bogus figures he has feed to everyone for years. He has been and continues to be a habitual liar. He has been brought up on charges of sexual harassment that he has talked his way out of in many instances where other men made complaints against him in past years. He went to a company function and slept with another man there, brought him back and moved him into his house (of which the other man is now saying he lives in the affluent neighborhood now too.) He not only finagled his new buddy into a job here but in fact pushed someone out of their position for no reason so his boy toy could work were he chose to work. There is a major investigation going on right now with lawyers and the police for something else he did and it will most likely result in another felony charge. And those are just the things that we know about… I would imagine the list goes on and on in his dishonesty and integrity. Talk about karma… the man will have a very hard time trying to find a job with those felonies on his record and it most certainly wont be the salary he has been accustomed to.

As they say all things hidden will be revealed… What is in darkness will be brought into the light… and so it is with karmic energy… As I said I am a firm believer that what you put out there into the universe, will eventually make its way back to you one way or another…. Karma is a powerful thing and the thing I have learned is that it also has it’s own timeline… it may not be when you think it will but it will come back when you least expect it… This is true of both negative and positive karmic energies… Ever had a door open at just the right time when you found another door closing? That is karma… it’s all related to the energies of the universe and working in line with the way things are supposed to be.

On a sad note, I learned that a good friend of mine was sexually assaulted and I am at a loss on how to help him because he does not know that I am aware it happened. I think it is harder for men to open up and reveal these types of things because they feel somewhat more shameful. Rape is rape no matter whom it happens to. To a man or a woman or anybody really, it is devastating and has lasting effects. I will find a way to help him somehow and know that the journey will not be an easy one for him. Please send healing energy and positive thoughts his way.

Okay… I think I have said enough for now…

PolarB ;)

Ala-ka-Shizzlety

Bimpity Boo

Don't make me pull

a can of WHOOP-ASS

Out on YOU!

 

 

Dis is my Brutha Bubba

And he likes to hunt fer meat...

Hangs em up by da toes

Then tickles their feet!

(Right before he licks em!)

 

So don't mess with da fairy

or I'll turn ya into a Toad-

Then my Brutha Bubba

Will take you off

down da road!

(He always did like dem Frog-Legs!) 

My ramblings again... read em if you want.... if you don't that is okay too. It's all about choice here...

There are times when people take things personal and most times I have found it is part of their life lessons and their own recovery issues and the journey that they are on. I know that is the case for me...The situation may not even be about you but the fear takes over and you respond out of fear as a self protection mode... When our own fears kick in we all tend to think it is something personally against us but most times we find out that that was not the case at all...

We had fun yesterday being silly and role playing... A little fun never hurt anyone... in fact it is a good release and a great way to release negative and stressful feelings. Nothing is wrong with playing around and just having fun and being downright silly sometimes. If somebody thinks there is something wrong with it, then maybe that is their own personal issue to work out.. only you can decide that for yourselves...

I honestly think that sometimes there are people who thrive on doing mean spirited things to others in order to get a reaction out of them... They find it entertaining to get a rise out of people just to see how they will react...I have found the best thing that deflates their little bubble is to not respond at all... They get tired and move on if you dont play with them or they dont get the results they wanted. I too have responded when I feel I am being personally attacked- it's hard not to... we do that as humans when our buttons are pushed...but that doesnt make us bad...it just means we are human and are responding to our feelings.

We have a great thing going on the blogstream with the community of friends that we have built... I feel close to many people on here and have made many deep connections... When one of our friends has been treated unfairly, of course we are all going to stick up for one another... that's what friends do.... we also lend a shoulder when one of us needs it...and we try to help one another out however we can.

Most times when somebody gets on the defensive and starts attacking others, it is because something has been triggered within that person and they are reacting to their own feelings .. It's hard to remember it is the other person's issue not yours. Sometimes it is even more difficult to not take on the responsibility of it.... Believe me, I have been reminded of that fact by those that love me when I get hooked into those feelings...

I also don't automatically believe something bad about anyone just because somebody says it is so.... I tend to come to my own beliefs based on my reality and my perceptions of any situation.. I have very good intuition and it has never guided me wrong yet.

People are driven by their perceptions.. Those are life lessons. We all have our own personal set of issues and life lessons and they are unique to us. We can identify with one another because of similar circumstances or through similar feelings and understandings. It is how we help one another and can give comfort to one another.

I feel deep connections with several others on the stream and I care how they feel about me, but I can only be me and I cannot control whether somebody likes me or does not like me. I think there comes a point in our lives that we each have to be true to ourselves and sometimes people aren't always going to like that and that is okay. That is acceptance of ourselves and that can be very empowering.

There was a time that I was a people pleaser, but I would say that that time has passed long ago. I am true to myself and to my feelings... now does that mean that I am gonna be selfish and disrespectful to all others...No... I certainly have had plenty of lessons in humility and also dignity.. does it mean I am not going to get hooked and not react to things in a negative way.. No... I am human...and having a human experience. I once made a comment on my blog about when I get angry I can pull a bitch out on your ass so fast you wont know what hit ya? That is very true...it does not come to that very often but it is within me... for as loving and peaceful as I am, I too have anger within me that does not always come out in positive ways... but it's all parts of me and I embrace that.

People will always find fault with something someone did or somebody... we cannot go around walking on eggshells because somebody may be unhappy with us or something we may have or may not have done...if you do, you will be miserable your whole life... so just be who you are and if somebody does not like it...remember it is their issue not yours.. . That's my take on things anyway and you dont have to agree or disagree with me... You all have your own minds and are perfectly capable of coming to your own conclusions... we are all responsible for our own actions which means we are all also responsible for our RE-actions...

Nobody can make you feel anything...you make a choice to feel a certain way... When I get angry. it is because I am making a choice to let myself feel angry... when I am happy, I am making a choice to feel happy... when I want to be silly I am making the choice to be silly...and so on and so on and so on...it's easy to put the blame on others and say you are making me feel ______.But the reality is that nobody can do that... we have control over us...me myself and I ....not anyone else. Just be who you are and feel your feelings, and if something triggers you enough that you are reacting to it, maybe that is worth a deeper look within yourself to see what the real issue is. You might just find an AHA moment in there. Those are the real life lessons that Spirit brings to us and those are the ones that have the biggest impact to us.

Here's to being true to yourself and embracing your own life lessons.

PolarB ;)