Hey Peeps...

Just wanted to let you know how my doctor visit went...

After all the testing I went through for the two days, my cardiologist said that I do have two heart valves that are leaking some which means some blood is going backwards into the valves instead of forward as it should and I have some build up in the artery walls however that is due to normal aging and both of those things are nothing that we will have to do anything about at this time. The chest pain and shortness of breath is due to my lung disease not heart disease. He did not see any signs that I have any damage or blockages and overall right now my heart is healthy and he wants me to continue taking the high blood pressure and high cholesteral meds and to get on a diet and exercise program with a nutritionist he refered me to. He is having me monitor my pressure weekly but the meds are doing great and it is coming down slowly so that is good. So that is a big relief off of my mind.

I just want to thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers and positive energy you have been sending me. I so appreciate it and it is good knowing that others do care about me just as much as I care about them.

This has been a good wake up call for me to take better care of me. Sometimes and I know we all do it.... we tend to want to take care of everyone around us and most times we neglect ourselves in the process. Not sure why that happens but it has been a good indicator to me that I am worth taking care of. I know people love and care about me but I also need to feel that way about myself too... It's a learning process and as life moves forward I am still constantly learning so many things and learning to be good to myself too. I am getting more rest, eating better and trying to get my body moving more, which has been a challenge because of my knees, but I am making a difference not only in others lives but in my own as well. Sometimes I am a slow learner but that's okay....the most important thing is being healthy so that I can be here to help others and be in a good place myself too.

These are all part of the life lessons that we all have to learn and I am grateful to be right where I am and part of this wonderful Mother Earth.

Again thank you for all the well wishes, prayers and for just caring about me.

Love and bear hugs,
PolarB ;)

Hey Bloggers!

Happy Monday! Just wanted to let you in on something.... I wrote a little something in honor of somebody special to me and it has been posted over at the NEEDS MORE COWBELL blog.

If you are not familiar with it, it is a newer blog created by the beautiful Six and the talented Diesel and it is dedicated purely to and for the love of music!

Check it out.. If you want a quick way to get there, go to my blog favorites list and it is near the bottom of the list. Once you go to the site you can bookmark it on your own page for quick reference!

Betcha ya can guess who I wrote about!! Three guesses!
Love yas and hope to see ya there!

Come on now... whatcha waiting for? Go check it out!!!

PolarB ;)

Good morning and Happy Easter to all!

Hope you find the most colorful eggs this morning that the Easter Bunny left you and find a lovely prize inside!- I heard that big ole Bunny outside last night outside my window scrounging around in my bushes! I was gonna get the gun to chase off the intruder until I remembered who it was! Good thing for him huh?

I remember Easter mornings well when I was kid when I lived with one of my great aunts. First of all I had to have an Easter Sunday outfit which usually consisted of a little frilly dress with lots of lace or taffia and a hat to match, little white ruffly socks with white patent leather shiney shoes and white gloves. Of course I also had to carry a little white purse usually designed with some kind of pastel flowers all of it as well. Once I was all dolled up in this little outfit, we would head off to church where everyone else big and small was all decked out in their Easter bests... After the long service which was always about how Christ rolled back the stone and arose on what we know as Easter morning, we would all head outside or to a park for the great Easter Egg hunt then we would have a huge Easter feast with tons of food.

I think about how different I am from that little girl now.... First of all I would not be caught dead in a frilly little dress! It just isn't who I am. Besides times have changed drastically since I was a little girl and most churches don't have the pomp and circumstance of the way it was back in the early 60's. I am sure that there are some churches who still go all out and put on their Easter best but most places of worship have opted for the casual dress codes which I think is good because it isn't about how you are dressed, it's about building your relationship with the Great Spirit above who does not concern himself with your outer appearances. What counts is the inside and what shape your soul is in.

Lovie and I used to have our own little Easter weekend traditions. We would always go on our first camping trip of the season every Easter holiday. We would decorate eggs and hide them around the campground for each other and we would get each other an Easter basket. We did this up until the time that we woke up on Easter morning with snow all over our tent! Believe me that was a cold cold miserable night and we were suprised at the snow everywhere the next morning...So we changed that tradition. We still go camping but later in the season after it warms up.. (Going to the mountains in May and can't wait!)

But true to my spirit it has always been about being in nature... My belief is that the Great Spirit is everywhere and I don't have to go anywhere to connect with him, however I always feel the closest to him when I am out in nature. I know those of you who read me regularly already know this about me. What a better way to connect with the Great Spirit and soak in all of his glory of his creation that being right out there in it?

I woke this morning and the sun was shining... we slept with the windows open in the bedroom and I could hear the little birds chirping away happily and going about their day. I layed across the bed and looked out into our yard and saw that the Japanese Cherry trees are in full bloom this morning and they are gorgeous! I will have to go out and get a shot of them for you. Everything is alive and full of renewed life. If you take a moment to stop and look at every little detail around you, you are sure to find beauty. Maybe it's a little lady bug crawling on a dew filled blade of grass. Maybe it's the uncurling of a leaf or a flower bud opening to the sunshine to let the light in. Think about the wonder of that and how everything is alive and filled with the Great Spirit's energy and how life affirming that is.

To me. I like to see those things everyday not just on Easter morning. That connection I have with the Great Spirit and his wonderous beauty we call the world and all of nature around me is what is life affirming to me. It feeds my spirit when I am down... it gives me strength when I am weak... it calms me when I am scared and afraid... it renews my soul and my spirit when I feel I can't go on any longer... and isnt that what the Great Spirit does for us?

You see, I don't need to get all dressed up in a frilly little dress and drive to a church filled with tons of other people for the sake of connecting with my God. All I have to do is walk outside my door and breathe in the essence of the day and know that the Great Spirit is with me every step of the way...

Happy Easter! I Love you all and may you all be filled with the same peace that I feel on this beautiful sunny morning.

Bear hugs,
PolarB ;)

Hey Bloggers!

I was reading a bit today and came across a poem that is near and dear to me and thought I would share it. It is by a woman named Jamie Sams who is Native American. It is called Healing Path………Enjoy…

Healing Path

Teach me how to gather
The fragments of my soul
Reclaiming lost potential
I seek to become whole

Let me find forgiveness
Embracing a new way to be
Releasing the hurt and anger
Towards all who wounded me.

Let me heal my human body
The sacred vessel of my soul
Mending all the unhealed aspects
I find within my Medicine Bowl

Let me find the courage
To face the enemies within
Healing all of my weaknesses
Honoring the warrior therein

Let me honor my sacred promise
To be loyal to my healing quest
Never deserting my Medicine
Nor the heart within my breast.

Wow! Isn’t that beautiful and it says it all for me. I just love Jamie and her writing. She is a very wise woman. If you are interested in reading something from her, I have a book called Dancing the Dream- the seven sacred paths of human transformation.. I use it as a basis for how I live my life. I’m not perfect nor will I ever be, but I am constantly evolving and moving forward.

I had a very interesting conversation today with someone. Had you told me I would be having this conversation two years ago I would have probably had a totally different reaction and response…however, my response today shows me that I am a different person than I used to be. And I have come such a long way… It also showed me how much of a healed healer I am and that I am continuing to follow the path that I was meant to be on. This aint no test drive baby- this is the real deal!
I am right where I am supposed to be and I find that there are lessons in a lot of things. Sometimes you need a good wake up call or something to jar you to be able to see what is in front of you…. I know it may seem like I am talking in circles but I know what I mean and I am grateful for the lessons in my life everyday. As I have said before. Everyday may not be good but there is something good in everyday. I firmly believe that. I not only believe it but I experience it.

It has been good getting outside in the air. It has been good connecting with Mother Earth and digging in her rich life giving soil. It has been a pleasure going around the yard and seeing everything coming back to life. Not only is it a renewal of life for my plants and for all the little critters out here in my part of the world ….It has also given me a renewal too. I can face whatever is thrown at me. I am a strong native warrior who has fought many battles and my medicine is strong and will help me through anything. As I have said I have the love and support around me too, not only from my family here but from all of you who have been thinking of me and sending prayers and good positive thoughts.

When I was a child I did not have that support and love and I still as a strong little warrior child made it. I am a survivor in every sense. Imagine how much stronger that is now that I do have all the love and support that I will ever need in my life. That is a good feeling inside.

Went to my family doctor and she did as I thought she would put me on more meds. I have three prescriptions to add the the pills I already have to take for other various things.. But the blood pressure meds are working and my BP has went down from 150/110 to 140/80… She wants me to be at a target rate of 130/80 so I am pretty darn close and that is a good thing. We will work on getting the cholesterol down and I will have to go back to her every three months to get monitored. I go to the cardiologist next Wednesday so we will wait to see what that will bring. But overall I am hanging in and staying busy…. I am so enjoying the outside air and feeling alive.

Well I guess I should wrap this up don’t ya think?

I love you all and thanks for hanging in here with me.

Big ole Bear hugs-
PolarB ;)

Hey Peeps-

Just wanted to write an update to let you all know the tests are done and now I have to wait until the 19th before I get the results.
I am glad they are over and that part is behind me so we will see where we go from here. The utrasound on my heart was actually kind of cool seeing my own beating heart on the screen from all angles and seeing it actually working pumping the blood through my body. Way different than I expected it to look and sound. I wanted to ask questions about all the things see was marking and taking pictures of but I wasn't supposed to talk and I really doubt she would have given me any answers anyway. The other tests were okay --not fond of the IV's in my arms but I never am and I made it on the treadmill with my bad knees -I was concerned about that but it did not take any time at all to get my heart rate up where it needed to be. They only increased the speed once so that wasn't too bad. The blue dye going through my bloodstream yesterday and today was metalic tasting and I could feel the cooling sensation as it traveled up my arm and up into my mouth and neck area and down the other side...kinda odd but not bad. Just glad it's over...

Whatever the results are I know that it will be okay even if it is not good news and I have alot of support and love around me. I will not follow in the footstep of my father or grandmother. I.... Yes, I can make changes and turn this around... I can change my life and be the healthiness I want it to be... I have options... as I always say- we always have options...no matter what the situation.

On the other hand it has been absolutely beautiful weather and I have been out in the sunshine digging in the dirt renewing my spirit. I think it is working.... I am also getting a bit of color and will not continue to be a pasty white child compared to my beautifully brown mother!- LOL! Okay Okay... I still have a ways to go but it's a start... just nod your head yes and agree with me okay...? I put shorts on for the first time today and nearly blinded all who saw my glaring white legs, but oh well that's the hazards of the beginnings of the season...

Just wanted to check in and let you know that the tests are done and I wont know anything for another week. I know people have been wondering and I thank you for the private messages. I appreciate it.

Not sure how much I will be on here...it may be kinda of sporatic and I may not get on everyday so just wanted to let you know... sorry I have not replied much to your comments but know that I appreciate them all and love you guys- I am thinking of you too!

Love ,
PolarB ;)