Where does your path lead you?

 

Are you on a journey or are you just riding along?

 

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson ...

 

 

PolarB ;)

 

 

Hey peeps- how goes it? I am here.... feeling a bit tired and working on a headache....hmmmmmmmm.... not a whole lot to say but I sure do have a million things running through my mind.... got a whole lotta creativity in there wanting to come out but the trick is finding the time.....I seem to have alot of irons in the fire right now....

I called to schedule an appointment with a new doctor today...just a check up...I have been tired alot and maybe it is because I am not getting enough rest or maybe I am but it doesnt hurt to get a physical every few years... I am getting older and feeling it today.

I havent had a whole lot of time to go around to everyone's blogs and comment but I have been trying to read up on everyone at least once a week, so if I have not been to visit, forgive me..I am thinking of you and wondering how you are doing too.

I will be getting my massage tomorrow and it could not get here soon enough. I am feeling the need to refresh and recharge my batteries. I really need to work on the things I have going on right now...finishing my book, finishing another project I am currently working on, finding a publisher or an outlet for my poetry and my short story. Investigating starting my own website...I am also needing to finish a new painting I started and there is that book that I have renewed five times from the library that is half way read....We are still recycling at work, but this is the last week of commitments I have in that. I've committed to at least 6 hours of volunteer time.....Got reports coming up next week that I need to complete for work then will bring that home over the weekend to finish up. We have a birthday party to go to for my friend's baby girl that is turning one...I may have to miss that.. we have to still deal with the downed tree in the front yard... and we have dinner plans Saturday evening then we are supposed to go to Mardi Gras and out to a club... I am gonna need a drink by then... I rarely drink anymore and one usually is enough for me....I may just have to let loose and bust a move at the club..... been a while since I have gotten jiggy wit it.....

Well....hmmmmmm.,,, I guess I had more to say than I thought I did and unfortunately it is time to get back to work....wow that's what I need some more of....time....... time for me and time to just be....
No wonder I have a headache...

Well later kiddies!
PolarB ;)

Good afternoon bloggers....

Hope this day finds you in good spirits. I am rested and in a somber mood today. I was listening to my Norah Jones CD this morning on the way in and wanted to write a bit about her.

If you've never experienced her before, you are in for a treat. Her sultry vocals leave you wanting more and gives me the feeling of sitting in a darkly lit club with velvet drapings and low candlelight. I can see her standing up on the small stage leaning over the piano as she fingers the microphone and brings it up to her soft lips to sing a smooth sexy tune. She looks right into your eyes as if nobody else was in the room but you as she sings her smoky songs to you and you alone.

Here are few of my favorites...

 

 Come away with me

Come away with me in the night

Come away with me

And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus

Come away with me where they can't tempt us

With their lies

I want to walk with you

On a cloudy day

In fields where the yellow grass grows knee kigh

So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss

On a mountain top

Come away with me

And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain

Falling on a tin roof

While I'm safe there in your arms

So all I ask is for you

To come away with me in the night

Come away with me

 

 

Turn me on

Like a flower

Waiting to bloom

Like a lightbulb

In a dark room

I'm just sitting here waiting for you

To come on home and turn me on

Like the desert waiting for the rain

Like a school kid waiting for the spring

Im just sitting here waiting for you

To come on home and turn me on

My poor heart It's been so dark

Since you've been gone

After all you're the one who turns me off

You're the only one who can turn me back on

My hi-fi is waiting for a new tune

My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes

I'm just sitting here waiting for you

To come on home and turn me on

 

 

I’ve got to see you again

Lines on your face don't bother me

Down in my chair when you dance over me

I can't help myself I've got to see you again

Late in the night when I'm all alone

And I look at the clock and

I know you're not home

I can't help myself

I've got to see you again

I could almost go there

Just to watch you be seen

I could almost go there

Just to live in a dream

But no I won't go for any of those things

To not touch your skin is not why I sing

I can't help myself I've got to see you again

I could almost go there

Just to watch you be seen

I could almost go there

Just to live in a dream

No I won't go to share you with them

But oh even though I know where you've been

I can't help myself I've got to see you again

 

 

The nearness of you

It's not the pale moon that excites me

That thrills and delights me, oh no

It's just the nearness of you

It isn't your sweet conversation

That brings this sensation, oh no

It's just the nearness of you

When you're in my arms and

I feel you so close to me

All my wildest dreams come true

I need no soft lights to enchant me

If you'll only grant me the right

To hold you ever so tight

And to feel in the night the nearness of you

 

If you've never had the pleasure to hear her sing, go to the library and try her out...I love her and you will find her to be a delight too.

 

 Enjoy, PolarB ;)

I wanted to post this poem that I have kept over the years... I never knew who wrote it but it has always touched me. I just wanted to share it with you.

 

I call out a secret name,

the name of the angel who guards my sleep,

and light grows in the east,

a new light like no other,

as soft as the petals

of the blown rose of late summer...

PolarB ;)

More Ramblings….

For some reason my mind has been thinking of many things this week… it’s almost like I am having hard time turning it off. I have that problem sometimes when I try to meditate or journey. It makes me feel like my center is off and I will have to calm my mind and my body soon to feel grounded once again.

Lovey and I went to dinner and to the bookstore to hear the musician play…unfortunately he had to cancel at the last minute but we still enjoyed the bookstore. I always come away from there with a wealth of information. I strolled through the music section and found one of my favorite artists that I used to listen to all the time... Apparently he has been busy as there were several new CD’s. so naturally I had to buy one. It is called Golden Spa Tones by Dean Evanson and Walter Makichen. Dean is a wonderful treat if you’ve never tried him before. His music has such a calming effect and it is just soothing. This new CD I bought has Tibetan singing bowls with flutes and the ocean sounds combined. I plan to use it to meditate. Although it is nice for just background music too which is playing right now as I write this. It is wonderfully relaxing.

I have scheduled a massage for next Thursday….God does my body ever need one. I used to go every three weeks but that can get very expensive so I have neglected it for such a long time…well, really since we bought the house, I have not gone to a massage therapist regularly. I’ve had the hot rock massages too and if you have never had one- you are missing something that is heaven sent… I got a gift card from one of my vendors and it is for a spa and they have hot rock massages too, so I will most likely be scheduling another one very soon. Sometimes it seems I take care of my physical body the least…. Go figure…I will have to do better at that.

I came home tonight and found that one of our big pines in the front yard was down. It was proably a good 30 ft tree in height. The wind was fairly strong today so it just toppled over,roots and all are sticking up.... so guess what Lovey and PolarB will be doing tomorrow? Chopping wood and cutting it all up into manageable pieces to drag it all to the back yard. It will make for some great smelling firewood in our fire pits. The base of the tree is fairly big so I may have to salvage that for a nice size stump for my Pot man He needs a new seat anyway since the woodpeckers last year found his big comfy chair to be to their liking, they have nearly annihilated it with their peckers.

Speaking of the yard, my perennials are starting to peep their little heads out of the soil and you know what that means….it means that Spring might actually be around the corner…man I hope so… Spring is my absolute favorite time of the year. Already the days are getting longer and it is staying lighter outside longer and longer…. That just lifts my spirits to no end…. Spring is so life giving… I mean think about it… everything that has been dead and dormant during the cold long winter, slowly starts unfolding and growing and turning green and blooming right before our eyes. It’s like watching tiny miracles everywhere happening right before our eyes. It’s delightful if you take the time to enjoy it and revel in the new birth of all around you.

At work we are recycling glasses to take on international missions. I’ve never been on a mission to another country but they say they are life changing. First of all these are some of the poorest countries we go in and the people there start lining up sometimes three days in advance just to be able to get the chance to get a pair of glasses. Do you know how amazing it is that we take such small things for granted? But to those people, it may mean the world to them! So you have like 600 people who are hungry and tired but not willing to give up their place in line. And when they finally do get inside the door to the tents we have set up and get their eyes examined and put on a pair of glasses. Do you know what happens? A miracle happens because for some of these folks it is the first time they are able to see clearly. It is even more touching when a child is fitted for a pair of glasses who is maybe five or six years old and he looks out at the world for the first time and he can see every detail and he becomes very excited because he can she the leaves on the trees and the clouds up in the sky, and then he turns to his mother and he begins to cry because it is the first time he has ever seen his mother’s face. The joy and the expression of these people is unbelievable and will pull at your heartstrings every time. Every time there is a mission and we do about 27 of them a year, they bring back videos and they are truly heartbreaking and touching. You can’t help but to be affected by it. It’s like a Hallmark special but please remember to take a box of Kleenex…. It gets me every time. But we are a company with heart and that’s why I love working there.

This morning I was transported back in my thoughts to a time when I was 16 years old. I was thinking about a woman whom I used to know and was great friends with. Bobbie was her name, and man what a woman she was…she was all womanly and curvaceous, sensual and cool all at the same time. Of course I had a thing for her. I have always loved older women from the very beginning…I met Bobbie through her daughter. We used to work together and one day Bobbie came to see her at work and she introduced me. Bobbie just so happened to be living up the road from where I was staying in my last foster home. She had long blond hair and wore nice fitting clothes that showcased what the good Lord gave her, and she always smelled umm so good. She was always smiling and joking around and she loved to flirt. She was dating several men at the same time and liked keeping her options open. Well, Bobbie and I became great friends and before long I was spending a great deal of time at her house. She was divorced and lived there alone, her kids stayed with their father and she was in the process of remodeling her house. Anyway, we never openly talked about me being gay or anything but I am sure she had a clue as she was dropping hints all over the place that she would most likely not rebuff any attempts I made. She would talk about her body and ask me my opinion on it, we would sit and talk and share a bottle of wine and laugh about stupid stuff until the wee hours of the morning. I stayed overnight quite a bit and she would outright tell me if I wanted to, I could share her twin size bed with her. I was sleeping on a mattress every time I stayed over. If I was in the tub taking a bath she would conveniently find an excuse to come in to get something out of the cabinet. It was like an enticing slow art of seduction on both parts. She had me all in a tizzy with my hormones raging. One night it was unbearably hot, temperature wise, that is…and she said it might be cooler for me to sleep upstairs in the full size bed with the fans on. I joked around that I wasn’t going to be wearing any clothes because it was too hot. So I go and get settled in bed ala natural and within a few minutes I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. She whispers are you asleep? I sat up and said no. I ask her what she was doing. She made up something and tried to act like she was looking for something in the room I was in. I have no doubt in my mind that she was looking for something but it wasn’t what she told me. I know she was waiting for me to make the first move. I didn’t and the moment passed and she left to go back to her twin bed. God knows I wanted to but for some reason I stopped it from happening…

Now thinking back, I am glad I did, for one, I was only 16 and two, I am glad I stopped myself because two years later I met my soul mate Lovey and when I was able to share my body and my mind and my soul with her so completely, it made it all the more special.

Not sure what made me think of that today. I don’t question it. It just is….

Well folks my eyes are tired- this Bear has been up since 4 o’clock this morning and it is going on 1:30 am early Saturday morning, so I am going to bid you a restful good night and get some shut eye myself…

Later Gaters
PolarB ;)